Now, every time one of the following events occur, take a sip:
1. Kylie makes her version of a Chinese dish, which involves pouring hot peanut oil over garlic/ginger/shallots/chilli/brown sugar/light soy/Chinese cooking wine.
2. Kylie says the words "garlic, ginger and shallots" or "depth of flavour".
3. Kylie does something odd and the locals look at her like she's really weird.
4. Kylie says "the Chinese" or "we Chinese" as if she's actually Chinese and not just a 5th-generation Australian selling her Asianness to the highest bidder.
5. Kylie changes her faux-Chinese tunic.
6. Kylie tries to pronounce a Chinese word in a super-broad Aussie accent.
7. Kylie tries to talk to someone, and the camera quickly pans away to give the translator time to come in and explain to her what's going on.
8. Kylie backs away while talking to the camera and bumps into someone, without saying sorry or acknowledging them.
9. Kylie barks at someone in English, as if talking louder will make her easier to understand.
10. Kylie barges into someone's kitchen and they nod politely as they taste her Kylie-fied version of their dish.
BONUS: If Kylie eats a char siu pau with chopsticks, you must down your glass.
***Disclaimer: This is a joke. Don't actually play this drinking game. Sarah Cooks does not encourage the consumption of alcohol in excessive quantities. Or eating paus with chopsticks.***
Check out this hilarious blog post about Kylie Kwong at through the Looking Glass. You said it, sister!